‘Those Whom We Love Are Often The Most Alien To Us.’ — Christopher PaoliniTHE GHOST ROCKETConspiracy Theorist Is Anally Probed By Sexy Female Extra-TerrestrialSCENE opens on an empty field late one night. The stars twinkle in the sky, as the camera slowly tracks back to reveal Roger (Michael Vegas) looking through a telescope. The self-published conspiracy theorist is wearing nothing but his boxer shorts, a UFO t-shirt, and LED translucent glasses. His hair is greased back, and he is guzzling a can of liquid caffeine, as he shifts from the telescope to the back of his flatbed truck, where he finishes setting up his latest invention. It’s a small but powerful antenna designed to transmit mathematical equations into space in the hopes of contacting a ghost rocket. Roger believes this long-disputed UFO phenomenon is the key to contacting alien life forms. As he connects the final pieces of his machine together, he mutters into a makeshift gadget on his wrist: ‘In 1946 and 1947, numerous reports occurred of ghost rockets appearing over Scandinavian countries, primarily Sweden, which then spread into other European countries. In 2046, similar reports resurfaced of ghost rockets appearing in the Pacific Northwest and down through parts of California and Mexico. All 200 sightings have been refuted by the US government, despite being verified with radar returns and, in some cases, physical fragments…’ He puts his wrist down, stripping off his shirt and putting a tin foil cap on his head. ‘…Until now, you sons of bitches!’ He shouts into the night, removing his glasses, placing transmitters in his ears, and rubbing his chest with petroleum jelly. He plugs some final code into his laptop before hitting enter and pointing his antenna towards the sky. A static sound in his ears grows louder and louder as he spins the antenna around. Finally, it connects with something and a beam of light penetrates the sky and strikes the antenna. Then, as quickly as it started, the beam disappears, and Roger falls to the ground. The antenna lies at his side, melted and destroyed. CUT TO TITLE PLATE Roger drives home from the field, feeling frustrated. He mutters and swears to himself before rolling down the window and throwing his antenna out. He puts his wrist to his mouth and begins to report the failed experiment when, suddenly, he comes upon a beautiful woman (Cherie DeVille) standing in the middle of the road. She is shimmering in a metallic body suit, with windswept hair, and staring at him like a deer in headlights. He slams on the breaks. They regard each other for a moment before she starts to approach the car. Roger is scared. What is this strange woman doing out here? She presses her hands on his driver side window, trying to open it, and speaking in a strange language he doesn’t understand. Finally, Roger rolls it down. ‘What… do… you… want?’ He stammers. She stops, takes a moment to compute what she just heard, and then begins talking slowly again — in English. ‘Hello human male,’ she says. ‘May I please enter your craft so I may breed with you?’‘Who… are… you?’ He asks slowly. The woman unfolds her arms and puts her hands in front of her. The broken antenna appears. ‘I am responding to your signal,’ she says. Roger stares at the antenna in disbelief. ‘You were on a ghost rocket?’ He mutters. ‘Affirmative.’ she replies, and the antenna disappears. ‘I have been sent to earth to breed with a human male. Are you a human male?’ ‘How do I know you’re not just putting me on?’ He asks. ‘Do you require proof?’ She asks. He nods. Her hands pull apart her face. He is horrified by what he sees and slumps back before raising his arms in surrender and stating that he is, indeed, a human male. She stops, puts her face back and, revealing her human form again, smiles. ‘Excellent! We must hurry and get to a breeding chamber,’ she says. Stunned, Roger opens up the passenger door and she steps inside. ‘Is my bedroom ok?’ He asks, getting in himself. ‘Affirmative,’ She says smiling.They arrive at Roger’s home. It is bare bones, with only UFO posters on the wall, stacks of papers, and a basic blowup mattress in the middle. The woman walks in and examines the surroundings. ‘Human males are strange and primitive life forms,’ she says matter-of-factly. Roger nervously clears an area around his bed and invites her to sit. ‘I would like to consume your seed now so it may stimulate this human shell and support my arousal.’ Roger flushes red. She unzips her top to expose her breasts and puts his hands on her. He has never felt anything so good in his life. She tells him to take out his member. Nervously, he does, and she slips her hand around his cock, stroking it, all the while exclaiming how fascinating his human penis is. Finally, she puts his hard cock into her mouth, tasting him before she guides him into her pussy. He gasps as she rides his cock. Roger can hardly believe his good fortune, but how will he react when it’s HIS turn to be probed?