“I was always told that masturbation was bad and to do it was a sin. But how can something that feels so good be bad? I’ve decided that I’m going to do it anyway. It doesn’t hurt anyone, and it’s not like I’m having sex. Masturbating always makes me feel better. If I’m mad or sad, I just need to have an orgasm and then I feel great. I’ve been experimenting with different ways of masturbating. I started with my fingers, then a vibrator, and now I’ve moved on to the bathtub faucet. So far, that’s the winner by far. If sex feels anything as good as that does, I’ll want to fuck 24/7!”