Health, Wealth & Unhappiness – Jake Adams & Izzy Lush


HEALTH, WEALTH & UNHAPPINESS
MAN GROWS PARANOID THAT HIS NEW BRIDE IS TRYING TO KILL HIM FOR HIS MONEY

SCENE OPENS on Jeff (Jake Adams). He sits nervously in his car. He taps the steering wheel, looking at his watch impatiently. His phone rings. He answers it, putting it on speaker. Hey man, he says to the phone. Hey little bro, his brother Bobby greets him. ‘So did you pick her up yet?’ Bobby asks. No not yet, he’s actually at the airport now, her plane’s already landed so now he’s just waiting for her to get through customs, he says. IF she gets through customs, who KNOWS what she’s hiding, Bobby says with a little laugh. That’s not funny, Jeff says. He knows how he feels about this whole thing, but he doesn’t need to constantly be taking little shots at him, Jeff says crossly. ‘Sorry, it’s just…I’m worried about you. She’s a MAIL ORDER BRIDE for fuck’s sake,’ Bobby says. Jeff sighs, exasperated. Yeah, he knows that he sounds like a broken record, but really: how much does he ACTUALLY know about this girl?, Bobby asks, concerned. ‘We’ve been over this a million times now Bobby. She’s a 22-year-old girl from a small town. She’s never even been on a PLANE before. She’s just looking for a better life. And I can GIVE her that life,’ Jeff says. Bobby sighs. They have a connection, Jeff adds. It’s really easy to fake a connection with someone when they’re MILES away and you’ve only ever talked to them on the phone, Bobby continues.

‘Let’s face it, Jeff. When Dad died he left us A LOT of money, and there are certain people who would want to…take advantage of that. You’re a good guy Jeff. You’re one of the most trusting people I know. But YOU’VE NEVER met this person. You don’t know who she really is. I DON’T want to see you get hurt, man’ Bobby says. ‘I hear you, Bobby, but I DO know her. The things we’ve shared in our conversations…look, I love you, but I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself,’ Jeff says. Before Bobby can respond, Jeff looks out the window of his car. She’s here! He’s gotta go, he says excitedly. Bobby seems to be about to say something, but Jeff seemingly ends the call and tosses the phone on the passenger seat as he hops out of the car. He didn’t end the call properly and Bobby can be heard saying ‘Hello? Jeff? Think you forgot to hang up the call, bud.’ Bobby sighs loudly. ‘Goddammit, just be careful, Jeff,’ Bobby says worriedly to himself, ending the call with a click.

CUT TO TITLE

Anna (Izzy Lush) is now in the car beside Jeff as he drives them back from the airport. Anna looks nervous, wide-eyed and a bit overwhelmed as she looks out the window at the passing sights. So is she ready to see her new house?, he asks, pulling the car to a stop. She nods, her nervousness giving way to excitement.

Almost a year passes since the couple has married. In the bedroom one evening, Anna gets Jeff his regular pills after telling him that she filled his prescription yesterday. Jeff realizes that they are the wrong pills and doesn’t take them, wondering aloud what they would have done to him if he had. Suddenly, Jeff is gripped momentarily by suspicion towards his wife since he just added her to his will the week before. He dismisses these suspicions immediately, kissing her before settling into bed.

Days later, Jeff comes home with a bandage on his forehead, injured because the brakes on his car failed. His paranoia growing, he calls the mechanic, who tells him that it’s possible that a puncture they found in the brake line could have been done on purpose. This sends Jeff over the edge and he is completely suspicious of his wife now.

The next day, Jeff rifles through Anna’s things trying to find something incriminating. He discovers a brochure for a funeral parlor. When Anna walks in, he confronts her and accuses her of trying to murder him for his money.

She denies his accusation. Enraged, he is determined to show her that he is not someone to be trifled with. He begins to unbutton his shirt. What is he…doing?, she asks with trepidation. ‘WHAT?! Is there something WRONG with a husband wanting to be with his LOVING wife?’ he asks. Anna looks at him, taking a deep breath and gulping down her fear. ‘N-no, of course not, t-there’s nothing wrong with that…that’s…fine,’ she says softly. He takes off his shirt and begins to take his pants off. He shakes his head disgustedly. ‘You think I’m some IDIOT that you can just do this to?!’ he spits, getting in her face. ‘Well, I’m NOT FUCKING stupid,’ he says, his words seething as his eyes burn with heartache and rage.

Jeff is about to find out whether or not he can TRULY trust his beautiful young wife.


Performers related to Health, Wealth & Unhappiness – Jake Adams & Izzy Lush